letters

To the people who live on our street:

I'm sorry. I am really, truly sorry that my car went haywire at approximately 9:10 last night and would not stop honking for nearly an hour. Believe me, I wanted to be sleeping, too.

To the dealership that worked on my car yesterday:

I'm blaming last night's fiasco on you.

To our front steps:

I really hope today marks the last day I ever faceplant on you, because it was really unpleasant.

To the people of Craigslist Tucson:

Stop being so flaky and buy my shit already.

To the ulnar nerve in my left arm:

Eff you. I need that elbow, dammit.

To the guys at Goodwill:

Thank you for making my donation process effortless and very fast today.