viva las vegas
Hello. I went to Las Vegas last week and mostly wish I were still there instead of packing and doing dumb moving crap in Tucson. At any rate, I saw slot machines like this:
and also asked Second City to do a sketch about something "you get really excited about, just something you're super passionate about," which was, of course, feminism. Interestingly, the sketch immediately turned into "I am woman, hear me roar" and lessons on how to be a woman. I also yelled "DO YOU GO DOWN?" during the show and Heidi got them to do a sketch about Wisconsin porn ("I would like a sausage now please."), so maybe it evened out. We also drank some stranger's white wine. 'Cause it was free.
On our second morning there, I did something so colossally stupid that I couldn't get my heart to slow down for a full five minutes. I was playing some slot machine and had my tote bag, open (mistake #1), on the seat beside me. Not really a big deal as the casino was slow and as long as I was paying attention to my machine, it was within my view. However, the bag was open (see #1 again) and cash, cards, etc were visible to anyone walking by. And then I allowed myself to be distracted by some kid who was probably only barely 21 (mistake #2), who asked why I was sitting alone and where my husband was, and told me I was too, too pretty to be sitting alone. It was not until he left that I realized this would be the perfect diversionary tactic--my chair was swiveled and eyes were on him the whole 60s or so he was talking to me and my bag, of course, was unattended. Thankfully, nothing was missing when I searched it as soon as he left.
Big wins on a Wheel of Fortune machine at Planet Hollywood (I put in $3, it gave me $225, even though it was clearly offended that I was so intoxicated), a dollar slot at Wynn ($145), and at craps at Circus Circus ($300!!!!!). I am never playing anything but craps ever again.
and also asked Second City to do a sketch about something "you get really excited about, just something you're super passionate about," which was, of course, feminism. Interestingly, the sketch immediately turned into "I am woman, hear me roar" and lessons on how to be a woman. I also yelled "DO YOU GO DOWN?" during the show and Heidi got them to do a sketch about Wisconsin porn ("I would like a sausage now please."), so maybe it evened out. We also drank some stranger's white wine. 'Cause it was free.
On our second morning there, I did something so colossally stupid that I couldn't get my heart to slow down for a full five minutes. I was playing some slot machine and had my tote bag, open (mistake #1), on the seat beside me. Not really a big deal as the casino was slow and as long as I was paying attention to my machine, it was within my view. However, the bag was open (see #1 again) and cash, cards, etc were visible to anyone walking by. And then I allowed myself to be distracted by some kid who was probably only barely 21 (mistake #2), who asked why I was sitting alone and where my husband was, and told me I was too, too pretty to be sitting alone. It was not until he left that I realized this would be the perfect diversionary tactic--my chair was swiveled and eyes were on him the whole 60s or so he was talking to me and my bag, of course, was unattended. Thankfully, nothing was missing when I searched it as soon as he left.
Big wins on a Wheel of Fortune machine at Planet Hollywood (I put in $3, it gave me $225, even though it was clearly offended that I was so intoxicated), a dollar slot at Wynn ($145), and at craps at Circus Circus ($300!!!!!). I am never playing anything but craps ever again.
posted by Alison Inaz @ 1:36 PM
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