zines

People. Enough already.

It started with SHAPE magazine. Lauryn used to get a subscription and then she stopped getting it and she was sad. One day, I said to her, hey! We're going to get SHAPE again. The day came that SHAPE actually showed up in my mailbox and I could recall (with her prompting) telling Lauryn that we were going to start getting it, but I had no recollection of how I ordered it, whether I paid for it or, basically, how it started appearing in our mailbox and how I knew in advance it was coming.

A couple months later, SHOP, etc. magazine appears in my mailbox. I have at least a six months subscription. I have no idea why this magazine is delivered to me every month; each outfit costs at least half of my monthly salary and would only cover one cheek. And yet, here it is, arriving faithfully each month. Why? How? WHY ARE RANDOM MAGAZINES COMING TO MY HOUSE?

That's not the best part, though. Last month? Ladies' Home Journal appeared. Yeah, that's right. LADIES' HOME JOURNAL. I have a subscription to LADIES' HOME JOURNAL. I wish I were joking. I also wish I were joking when I said I actually read it and it was the most trite, gendered stuff ever. I can only hope that my grandmother thought I was finally mature enough and of the "home/marryin'" mind to start receiving the good old LHJ or something. Otherwise, this is a sick joke that'll keep me guessing next month when Maxim shows up or something.