friend to children, part two
Children have not been a part of my daily life since I left for college lo these seven years ago. Throughout my teenage years, I regularly babysat for the family across the street--a single mom who adopted three daughters from the foster care system. Those girls, and that family, were an integral part of my life (and I theirs) and I've never been so proud to see little people grow up as I have them. I still remember rocking the middle child to sleep when she was an infant, and being the youngest child's first contact with anyone outside the family when she was first placed with her mom. I was at the oldest's high school graduation a couple years ago and realized how much of their lives I had missed since leaving Madison. She is a strong, proud college sophomore now, complete with MySpace account and a doting boyfriend.
When I was in college, one of my mentors (formerly the director of a domestic violence shelter for women and children) once went on a tear about all of the children's causes out there. She was tired, she said, of all of the money and resources being shoved at children when there were so many adults who need help, too. It sounds callous, but it is true. In this culture, we value the lives of children because we are meant to nurture and protect them, because they so rarely have anything to do with their life situations should they go bad. She gave examples of donors refusing to aid adult women (because they obviously got themselves into trouble somehow), but happily donating hundreds of dollars of goods and money to the children's program of the shelter. She later become a mom and I wonder how her worldview changed, if at all.
Never do I feel the lack of a child's presence in my life more acutely than I do when I am on campus. Spotting a child around these parts is rare and as my roommate is prone to saying, "I never even SEE kids!" We had no trick-or-treaters in our student neighborhood this year, though I was prepared for them. Occasionally, babies are brought into the department and that is always a joy, but again, a rarity. The college campus was not built for intergenerational interaction, except in the case of professors and their students.
So though I wouldn't say I've been much of a friend to children in my early adult life, it's not as though I haven't had contact with friends' children and my cousins' kids. It's just that no one is geographically near enough to me to foster the same relationship I had to the three little girls that I think I had a part in raising, and I miss that tremendously.
When I was in college, one of my mentors (formerly the director of a domestic violence shelter for women and children) once went on a tear about all of the children's causes out there. She was tired, she said, of all of the money and resources being shoved at children when there were so many adults who need help, too. It sounds callous, but it is true. In this culture, we value the lives of children because we are meant to nurture and protect them, because they so rarely have anything to do with their life situations should they go bad. She gave examples of donors refusing to aid adult women (because they obviously got themselves into trouble somehow), but happily donating hundreds of dollars of goods and money to the children's program of the shelter. She later become a mom and I wonder how her worldview changed, if at all.
Never do I feel the lack of a child's presence in my life more acutely than I do when I am on campus. Spotting a child around these parts is rare and as my roommate is prone to saying, "I never even SEE kids!" We had no trick-or-treaters in our student neighborhood this year, though I was prepared for them. Occasionally, babies are brought into the department and that is always a joy, but again, a rarity. The college campus was not built for intergenerational interaction, except in the case of professors and their students.
So though I wouldn't say I've been much of a friend to children in my early adult life, it's not as though I haven't had contact with friends' children and my cousins' kids. It's just that no one is geographically near enough to me to foster the same relationship I had to the three little girls that I think I had a part in raising, and I miss that tremendously.
posted by Alison Inaz @ 3:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home