up on the watershed

Saturday, December 29, 2007

it's got to get better than this

I don't know why I bother doing these, since this year was even more shitacular than last year.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? Earned a master's degree in women's studies, lived in rural Indiana.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Didn't have any and yes.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope. Lots of 2008 babies, though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My matriarchs are gone. Both of them.

5. What places did you visit? Mexico, Orlando, B-N, Ill, Greencastle, Las Vegas, many trips to Madison, South Bend, and I think that's it.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? Serenity. And possibly, my tribe much closer in proximity.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Mid-may (graduation week/end), June 25 (the day I left Tucson), October 30 (Grandma died), December 17 (Mom died).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving (last year's answer works again!), but I would also add graduating and mounting a national job search and securing a perfect-fit job.

9. What was your biggest failure? It's hard to know, there are so many.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Lots of emotional injury and loss.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I just bought some slippers. You'd think I'd have some, but no.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Many of my close family members, and a handful of my very best friends.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I have never known anyone so willing to kick a girl when she's down. That's all I have to say about that.

14. Where did most of your money go? Car payments, student loans.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Er. Trips?

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? All of Lucinda Williams' "West" album. There's a song on there for everything I've experienced this year, I am sure of it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? More relieved, yet probably also sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. ugh.
c) richer or poorer? I have no idea.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Exercise, pleasure reading, cooking (all still apply!)

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Receiving catastrophic news, losing sleep, feeling physically unwell, losing friends.

20. How did you spend Christmas last year? In Milwaukee and Madison, per usual.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007? Very quickly, and I fell out of it nearly as quickly, too.

22. How many one-night stands? Well....

23. What was your favorite TV program? I am ashamed to say that I have gotten enormous amounts of pleasure from Bridezillas in the last several months.

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2007? I canceled my party, worked 9-9, and attended my grandmother's visitation the next day. It was a swell week, really.

25. What was the best book you read? Eat, Pray, Love.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I didn't technically discover her this year, but Lucinda Williams. And the Plain White Ts.

27. What did you want and get? I got a really great pair of earrings from my mom. And I got a great job.

28. What did you want and not get? I wanted to not feel excluded, I wanted to not feel backed into a corner, I wanted to not lose my mother and my grandmother, I wanted to not feel compelled to leave somewhere I called home for a place that may never feel like home, I wanted some understanding and its corollary, some explanation. That about covers it.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? I guess Sicko or Superbad. My film watching was limited.

30. Did you make some new friends this year? Yep.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Closure, on so many different fronts.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Shit, I can't wear jeans anymore?!

33. What kept you sane? A misplaced sense of responsibility.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Bah.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? I am completely unstirred, though I am looking forward to seeing who gets the Democratic nod in 2008.

36. Who did you miss? Tucson.

37. Who was the best new person you met? It's hard to say--they have all been spectacular in their own ways, at different times.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. Sometimes, rock solid things are not, so much.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

how to drive the bereaved crazy over $250

I made an informed decision, several weeks ago, to take a short trip to Vegas. I needed something to look forward to and to do something nice for myself. I purchased my ticket, after a lot of consideration, on a Friday afternoon. Hours later, I got a call from my dad that my mom had been admitted to Hospice. I spent the next week wondering whether I'd make it to Vegas, and spent the week after that feeling pretty confident that I would, all based on how my mom was doing. I am not in Vegas right now, obviously.

I began the process of seeking a refund on my non-refundable ticket on Monday evening, a few hours before my mom passed away. Here is what I've got so far:

1. Call NWA reservations line. Get a message saying that because of high call volume, I should e-mail them because they can typically respond in 2-3 hours.

2. E-mail NWA about the situation. Get an automated e-mail that says because of high e-mail volume, they will respond to my e-mail in 5-7 days.

3. A day later, get a generic response that my ticket "may" be eligible for a refund and that I should call the NWA reservations line. You know, the one I called in step 1.

4. The reservations agent said I should call some other office, which we will call office #2.

5. I call office #2 and am referred, via automatic message, to office #3.

6. I call office #3 and its automated message says that I should e-mail (did that!) or call the reservations line (did that!) for faster assistance. It then informs me that because all of their agents are busy, they cannot take my call right now, and the line goes dead.

Friday, December 14, 2007

also in my head

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain, I don’t know
Higher now than ever before, I
Know we can make it if we take it slow
Thats thinking easy, easy now, watch it go

We’re burning down the highway skyline on the
Back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water, it ain’t so sweet
You don’t have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young

--The Killers, "When You Were Young"

Thursday, December 06, 2007

in my head

Are you alright?
All the sudden you went away.
Are you alright?
I hope you come back around someday.
Are you alright?
I haven't seen you in a real long time.
Are you alright?
Could you give me some kind of sign.
Are you alright?
I looked around me and you were gone.
Are you alright?
I feel like there must be something wrong.
Are you alright?
'Cause it seems like you disappeared.
Are you alright?
'Cause I been feeling a little scared.
Are you alright?

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug and kiss you,
Hug and kiss you, hug and kiss you?
Are you alright?

Are you alright?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you alright?
I wish you'd give me a little clue.
Are you alright?
Is there something you wanna say?
Are you alright?
Just tell me that you're okay.
Are you alright?
'Cause you took off without a word.
Are you alright?
You flew away like a little bird.
Are you alright?
Is there anything I can do?
Are you alright?
'Cause I need to hear from you.
Are you alright?

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug and kiss you,
Hug and kiss you, hug and kiss you?
Are you alright?

--Lucinda Williams, "Are You Alright"