to breathe again
My friends Nicki and Adam were married this weekend and pictures will be forthcoming. The reception was amazing and fun and so very Wisco (there was real butter, real sour cream, real polka, and the servers brought around glasses of milk during dinner). And though by my Nth glass of wine during the Nth to the X power slow song, I was declaring things like, "I'm done with weddings!" and "Weddings are orgies for coupled people!" I really, truly enjoyed myself and am not, obviously, done with weddings, as Nicki and Adam are the first couple in my posse to get hitched.
(Though I am still concerned about the frightening ways in which this particular state project is heralded; ways such as the "Who's been married the longest?" dance that inevitably occurs. The DJ calls all married couples to the floor and then begins winnowing the field by saying things like, "OK, if you've been married for 5 or fewer years, please leave the floor!" Eventually, the couple that has been married longest is left on the dance floor and gets a round of applause. If you're not married, you don't dance. And if you've been married but not the longest, you are summarily dismissed.)
I didn't realize until Thursday evening as I sped north through Illinois that I'd been holding my breath for the last two months or so. The end of July is the last time that most of my posse was all in the same place, together for a rare non-holiday get together. Though I am adjusting to where I live and feel as though I am making meaningful connections with people here, the whole process of relocation, especially in a geographically challenging area, is just so exhausting to me at this moment in my life. Which is to say, it has never been exhausting like this before (relocating to Tucson was exhilarating for me). There is enough going on in my life right now that one of the things I cherish and devote a lot of energy to--building and sustaining friendships--is not receiving its due attention, at least on a local level. I have just run out of steam for telling my life story, teaching people who I am, and the whole process of getting-to-know-you that occurs at the beginning of any type of relationship.
Yet this weekend, once I headed to Milwaukee for the wedding, I didn't have to do any of that emotionally exhausting work. I was surrounded by people (and spoke to another on the telephone) who know me intimately and love me just the same, regardless of my strengths, faults and foibles (see Nth glass of wine, on all three counts). There is something so satisfying about being in the company of friends like that--something I don't think I can fully articulate. But I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for helping me to breathe again.
(Though I am still concerned about the frightening ways in which this particular state project is heralded; ways such as the "Who's been married the longest?" dance that inevitably occurs. The DJ calls all married couples to the floor and then begins winnowing the field by saying things like, "OK, if you've been married for 5 or fewer years, please leave the floor!" Eventually, the couple that has been married longest is left on the dance floor and gets a round of applause. If you're not married, you don't dance. And if you've been married but not the longest, you are summarily dismissed.)
I didn't realize until Thursday evening as I sped north through Illinois that I'd been holding my breath for the last two months or so. The end of July is the last time that most of my posse was all in the same place, together for a rare non-holiday get together. Though I am adjusting to where I live and feel as though I am making meaningful connections with people here, the whole process of relocation, especially in a geographically challenging area, is just so exhausting to me at this moment in my life. Which is to say, it has never been exhausting like this before (relocating to Tucson was exhilarating for me). There is enough going on in my life right now that one of the things I cherish and devote a lot of energy to--building and sustaining friendships--is not receiving its due attention, at least on a local level. I have just run out of steam for telling my life story, teaching people who I am, and the whole process of getting-to-know-you that occurs at the beginning of any type of relationship.
Yet this weekend, once I headed to Milwaukee for the wedding, I didn't have to do any of that emotionally exhausting work. I was surrounded by people (and spoke to another on the telephone) who know me intimately and love me just the same, regardless of my strengths, faults and foibles (see Nth glass of wine, on all three counts). There is something so satisfying about being in the company of friends like that--something I don't think I can fully articulate. But I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for helping me to breathe again.
posted by Alison Inaz @ 4:02 PM
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